My Dad Wrote A Porno · My Dad Wrote A Porno

S1E13 - 'Monday Morning 7.45am' REMASTERED

October 17, 2025·28 min·2 clips

James vehemently denies being a virgin after a listener email outs him, sparking chaotic banter among the hosts.

1. My Dad Wrote a Porno reaches the end of its first season, with Jamie Morton, James Cooper, and Alice Levine reading the final chapter of Rocky Morton's self-published erotic novel Belinda Blinked. 2. Jamie Morton is Rocky's son and the show's creator; James Cooper and Alice Levine are his co-hosts who react to the readings in real time. 3. The episode's core premise is celebrating the completion of the first book while reading the climactic final chapter, titled 'Monday Morning, 7.45am.' 4. Before the reading, Jamie reads an email from a listener named Eric who calls James 'an apparent virgin' who 'says stupid stuff while pretending he knows things.' 5. James denies being a virgin multiple times, and when Alice suggests he might actually be gay rather than inexperienced with women, James confirms this is true live on air. 6. Jamie notes that James's mother listens to the podcast and that this would be the first she'd heard of it, to which James responds 'okay, bye mum, I'll talk to you when I get home.' 7. The chapter opens with Belinda telling the Duchess 'I feel I need to fulfil your strongest desires,' immediately followed by the Duchess requesting the black leather dildo, which she has mentioned multiple times throughout the book. 8. The hosts compare the Duchess's very specific wish-list request to someone saying 'get me whatever you want for Christmas, but here is a list of links to specific things.' 9. Belinda straps on the dildo 'carefully,' prompting Alice to imagine her doing so 'with a high-vis vest' and 'her Allen key out' and James to say 'give that dildo a safety check.' 10. Rocky writes that the dildo penetrates to the Duchess's ovaries, causing James to object that this is anatomically impossible and ask whether Rocky 'just thinks all lady bits are jumbled up inside' and reachable from one entrance. 11. The hosts develop the pinball machine metaphor, with Alice asking 'how much are the ovaries worth?' and deciding 'they're hard to hit' like a high-value target. 12. After the sexual encounter concludes, Rocky writes that the Duchess stores the dildo in 'its special zinc-coated case, much like a professional photographer's camera,' which the hosts compare to the Ark of the Covenant and celebrity jewellery security. 13. The chapter ends with Belinda arriving at the office at 'a very respectable 9.30am,' which the hosts celebrate as finally being 'in sync' with Rocky's sense of timing. 14. Rocky's final sentence of the novel is 'If they were anything like the last 24 hours, she would be truly fucked,' and the hosts enthusiastically confirm that the last word of Belinda Blinked is 'fucked.' 15. The hosts agree on the spot to produce Belinda Blinked Two, with Jamie confirming it is already written and is titled 'Belinda Blinked Two: Lost in New York.' 16. Jamie asks listeners to write Amazon reviews for the book and buy the Kindle version to 'throw Rocky a bone,' noting that Rocky has 'let us rinse him' throughout the series. 17. The episode is a comedy-commentary format where hosts interrupt readings at every sentence to observe absurdities, compare scenes to everyday situations, and build running jokes. 18. The tone is warm and celebratory given the season finale, with the hosts expressing genuine affection for the project and mild sadness at finishing. 19. Listeners who enjoy irreverent British comedy podcasts dissecting unintentionally funny amateur writing will find this consistently entertaining. 20. Those expecting actual erotic content or who are easily offended by explicit language and sexual discussion should avoid this episode.

As heard by us

An explicit scene becomes a fast, filthy anatomy joke session with plenty of piling-on.

Belinda is the target of an explicit scene that the trio pulls apart line by line, and the jokes arrive with enough speed to keep the room moving.

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Why you'd press play

You want one ludicrous chapter and a cast that keeps escalating the bit without mercy.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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