The Ballad of Billy Balls · iHeartPodcasts

S2 [6] Amanda | The Ballad of Billy Balls

May 2, 2019·40 min·2 clips
Gita Gash describes Billy Balls stabbing her in the face with a fork during a drug-fueled violent episode.
The conversation begins awkwardly at the mic. Before the story comes into focus, the tape catches people shifting around and trying to make the setup feel fair. Drugs sit under the whole thing. The guest says they made the relationship harder, especially with two stubborn people and a toddler in the middle of it. She remembers fights, but she stays careful about what she knows from memory. When the host asks about violence, she does not say she was told Billy hurt Lynn. She leaves space for doubt. Then another memory lands. She recalls being in the apartment at sunrise with Lynn and the baby when Billy attacked. The details are hard to shake: a fork injury to her chin, panic over the baby, screaming toward the window. Someone heard them. A man came up the fire escape, got inside, and Billy ran out the same way. The host slows down there. A note follows: they tried to verify the story with other people and could not. That matters. The episode lets the memory stay a memory, disturbing but not treated as proven. The guest still loved Billy. She talks about warmth, humor, creativity, and love sitting right beside the danger she believed came with him. That contradiction gives the tape its pull. Affection and fear share the same room.

As heard by us

A tense, intimate portrait of Billy Balls, where affection and fear sit uncomfortably side by side.

Amanda lingers with people who knew Billy Balls close enough to remember the pull and the damage in the same breath. The episode's strongest moments come from that uneasy interview space, where love, fear, drugs, and old family chaos all blur together.

Read the full review in PlayNext →

Why you'd press play

Amanda remembers Billy as warm, funny, and terrifying.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →
Listen to the show on