Why do I react like that? | Jennie Allen with Dr. Adam Young

·33 min·3 clips

Jennie Allen reveals how Dr. Adam Young's book on childhood trauma made her rewrite her own work this summer.

Jennie Allen introduces Dr. Adam Young, praising his podcast 'The Place We Find Ourselves' and his book 'Make Sense of Your Story', which she found life-changing. Dr. Young explains he wrote the book for his 30-something self, who struggled with emotional dysregulation and needed orientation. He identifies three core lies humans believe: 'I'm worthless', 'I'm unlovable', and 'I'm helpless'. Dr. Young shares his own story of being born to a Vietnam veteran father with PTSD and a mother with undiagnosed borderline personality disorder, leading to experiences of violence and shame. He describes symptoms like anxiety, agitated depression, and interpersonal problems that prompted his journey. Dr. Young delves into neuroscience, explaining the brainstem, limbic brain, and cortical brain, and how trauma imprints on the limbic layer, making it resistant to cognitive override. He discusses healing as integration, using biblical language like 'shalom' to describe reconnecting fragmented parts of the brain. The conversation turns to memory, distinguishing explicit memory (facts) from implicit memory (sensations without recall), which can cause disproportionate reactions in the present. Dr. Young emphasizes story work, where detailing harm to a trained guide or safe community facilitates healing. He addresses common barriers like the desire for quick fixes, noting healing is slow like natural growth. For those without access to therapy, he recommends writing stories and sharing them with trusted friends who respond emotionally. Dr. Young reflects on his ongoing healing at age 52, describing it as a continual process of maturation. He discusses repair in relationships, where being heard and validated leads to nervous system repair. The episode concludes with advice for parents, stressing that engaging one's own developmental story is more effective than technique for improving parenting, and highlighting the importance of presence and repair with children.

As heard by us

A tender, faith-aware conversation about agency, early trauma, and healing that takes time.

Agency gives this episode its pull. The host names the felt smallness of being under her father's hand, then turns toward the harder recognition that her own words now carry weight. With Dr.

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Why you'd press play

You want to understand why old hurt still drives your reactions and where agency can return.

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