The Supernatural Protection Company · Saph the Something

Intake #04329 - Bleeding Hearts Therapy

September 17, 2023·17 min·1 clip

An 800-year-old vampire therapist explains why his oldest clients have the most human problems.

The episode opens with Dr. Marcus Williams calling the Supernatural Protection Company after a seven-month hold to become an in-network therapy provider. Williams, who has been alive since the 1400s, operates Bleeding Hearts Therapy in Camden, London, specializing in vampiric psychological services. He holds degrees in immortal studies and psychology, plus a doctorate from Miskatonic University, and authored the self-help book 'Don't Suck It Up' ninety years ago. His practice focuses on vampiric trauma, both current and generational, with generational trauma referring not to ancestral issues but to the inherited stigma of belonging to a historically demonized group. Many clients cope by embracing vampire stereotypes, leading Williams to install a custom coffin sofa in his office to help break initial tension. Surprisingly, his oldest clients (800+ years) present the most human-like problems, having worked through supernatural adjustment issues and now struggling with cultural divides and relationship challenges. Younger vampires face different issues around identity pressure and stereotype management. Williams discusses the practical challenges immortals face, including the difficulty of maintaining relationships with mortals and the uncanny valley effect when trying to fake natural aging with makeup. His practice previously employed a banshee assistant, but he's struggled to find replacement staff due to the specialized nature of his work. The insurance representative notes the rarity of vampire-specific therapy, comparing it to more common ghost therapy practices. During the call, the representative accidentally reveals too much knowledge about supernatural matters, creating a moment of tension. The application appears likely to be approved, with the intake number 04329 assigned. In post-call notes, the representative reflects on the political benefits of approving Williams' application for relations with the Vampire Council and flags the case for health administrative review due to the unique nature of mental health coverage for typically illness-immune vampires.

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